Scenes We'd Like To See: Series 7, Episode 3
The following is a guide to the Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions made in the third episode of the seventh series. Key *'HD' – Hugh Dennis *'AP' – Andy Parsons *'FB' – Frankie Boyle *'RH' – Russell Howard *'GD' – Greg Davies *'LP' – Lucy Porter Topics Deleted Lines From a Fantasy Film *'RH:' I am Aragorn son of Arathorn, the heir to Isildur and part of the fellowship of the ring. Please leave a message after the tone. *'FB:' Ron had been suffering from swine flu and people were avoiding him. Luckily, he was ginger and he was used to it. *'HD:' I don't know why you're so upset Harry. The original Dumbledore died three films ago and no one gave a shit! *'RH:' Did you find Narnia in the wardrobe? No Edmond, we found your porn stash. *'FB:' My friends, we will never hear the words Mordor again. Taggart has been cancelled. *'LP:' No Harry, it's not a five headed dog, it's Girls Aloud! *'HD:' I am Aslan, formed by the merger of Asda and Matalan. *'FB:' We had only been there for a day but to us it felt like 15 years. THAT'S BIRMINGHAM! *'HD:' Did you honestly think I could be defeated by someone younger? I...AM ARLENE PHILLIPS! *'AP:' Welcome to Mordor. Twinned with Swansea. *'GD:' (Embracing '''LP')'' This will never work, Frodo. *'FB:' In the wardrobe we found a magical compartment that led to the Fritzl family. *'RH:' He stole it from me, my precious, my... oh, no, it's in my pocket. *'GD:' Alright John how's it going, alright? Yeah, how's the kids? Alright, see you later. *'FB:' I'm not a dwarf, I'm a lesbian! Things You Don't Want To Hear From Your Flatmate *'FB:' That's my milk in the fridge, I squeeze it out of my tits with a vice. *'AP:' No we can't share the electricity bill. I've got a phone charger and a laptop, and you're on a life support machine! *'FB:' My last flat was just like Friends, have you seen The One Where Joey Kills Everybody? *'HD:' I love talking to you, with you I can... (growls) be my real self. *'RH:' There's just two of us, well three if you count God. *'GD:' I'd give it ten minutes in the toilet if I were you, that one could talk. *'FB:' Well if you don't think I'm a nosy bastard, why did you write that in your diary? *'LP:' Oh that, that's just a novelty shower gel in the shape of a webcam *'RH:' Hey, you said there wasn't enough room to swing a cat, look at this... (Imitates swinging a cat) Loads of room! *'HD:' Oh, er, a Mr. Jihad called, he says it's time. *'FB:' I don't see why I should pay for half the loo roll when I never use any! *'HD:' I tell you what, that Hoover is powerful. *'FB:' Okay there's one certain way to find out who ate my "yoghurt": An AIDS test. Category:Scenes We'd Like To See